The Gratitude Feedback Loop
Today I woke up with a to-do list and got after it: I started a load of laundry, made breakfast and tea, put the laundry in the drier, meditated, did the dishes, folded my laundry, and sat down to write. I love mornings like this. Chores, self care and creativity. This love hasn’t always been the case. In the past I fantasized about having enough money to hire out the mundane, never having to wash a dish or do any chores again. My future fantasies were largely centered around convenience. I often complained about the daily doings of domestic care and felt conflicted and frustrated, but now, I relish in these tasks. Taking care of myself and my home is one of my greatest joys. The two life events that ushered in this perspective for me were first, KonMari-ing my place and getting organized, and second addressing my food addiction issues. This blog is only long enough for one life lesson, so I’ll focus on the ‘getting organized’ part, specifically the long term effect of it that I call— The Gratitude Feedback Loop.
This might (definitely) get a little woo-woo, so if magic and manifestation aren't your thing, exit here. But if you’re into it, welcome fellow weirdo, and let’s talk about gratitude!
When we live in a space where each item sings our praise, we walk through life with a heart full of gratitude.
Every space we walk into, particularly people’s homes, we get an initial ‘feeling’ about the space. Think of the most recent home you walked into. Maybe it was a friend’s or your partner’s. You get a sense of them, right? A little more understanding of the way they see themselves. Maybe it felt welcoming, maybe it felt comforting. Or maybe it felt a little cluttered and chaotic, maybe it was off-putting or unsure of it’s self. What is that? Good design and hygiene? That’s part of it. Windows and house plants? Another aspect as well. But, dear reader, I’m here to argue for the power of loving your stuff.
It starts with the unseen. Many of us can work out a living room that we like. A presentable space for family and friends to see. But is there that space (or spaces) in your house that you just avoid? Don’t open the hall closet! Don’t even think about the junk drawer and avoid the laundry room all together!
Our unseen physical spaces in our homes often mirror our unseen emotional spaces within us.
As an organizer, my job is to shepard you through a journey deeper into your home and therefore deeper into yourself. In a nutshell: we identify a goal (a feeling goal, such as ‘I want to feel authentic and in my power’). We use this goal as our north star while we declutter. To declutter: we pull everything out into the open, identify the feelings that each Item stirs within you, see if it aligns with the new goal, and either discard it with gratitude or joyfully keep it.
When the decluttering process is complete, when your home has been completely gone through and organized, you most likely have let go of a couple thousand items that sparked unwanted feelings. Items that made you feel ashamed of yourself, guilty, or reminded you of something you’ve regretted. I’ve donated hundreds of pounds of these items to the Salvation Army for you, and we’ve brought everything you love about what you own into the daylight and arranged it in a manner that’s easy to use, see, and celebrates who you are. All that’s left is everything that you love!
When your heart calls out gratitude, you receive more things to be grateful for. In this way, what you feel, you become.
When your home is full of little gratitude generators, (the items you kept that spark joy) you take that gratitude with you out into the world. Like attracts like. Emotions are habits. As you feel more grateful, the more easeful life becomes. You breath easier in your home. You step lighter in your shoes. Surrounding ourselves with items we love begets more love. This, my friends, is the Gratitude Feedback Loop.
Now go open up that previously un-openable cabinet. Go take a look at the very back of the closet where shame and avoidance used to dwell. Now, all you see is love and support. You just have a row of neatly folded shirts all saying how sunny and lovely you look today. The junk drawer where bent paperclips and expired coupons used to live, now you’ve got a neat row of supplies smiling back at you telling you that you’re capable and creative. The bookshelf where rows of dusty unread books used to sit reminding you of your inadequacies, now stand proud your all time faves reminding you of the poetry and adventure you’re capable of. And with all these compliments around every cabinet door, what is there to say but ‘thank you?’
Organizing is complete magic. We discard and rearrange, and give you the opportunity to tell a more authentic story of your life. Instead of feeling victim to someone else’s ideas of what you should be doing and carrying around old baggage that no longer applies, you can consciously choose your reality and lead from a place that is truly, uniquely you.
I’m grateful that you took the time to read this! May your week be filled with more joy than you know what to do with.
-Raleigh